that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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