she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
