Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
