but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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