I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
