Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil