using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
