and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
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Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid