I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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