youre lurking in front of me
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
