We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
