Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
