and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize