She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
