She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
