the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
