If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he shaved USA in his pubs
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
