Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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