Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my sisters under your porch take her home
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
