If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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