So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize