dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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