So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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