My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
