porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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