Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
