she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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