Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize