dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
