Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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