i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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