I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
