ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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