@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
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I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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