Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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