Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize