So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
