I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
