No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
sex in a hospital.. check
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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