Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
