was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
