i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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