I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize