I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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