I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck