Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
