Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
