Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
