I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i love accidental penises.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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