Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
