Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
