i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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