My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
