I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
