We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
