This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
