she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
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He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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