When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
