I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
