It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
