Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
