I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
