I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
