question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
