dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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